


Tether

by my_deer_friend



Series: My Deer Kinktober 2020 [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anal Sex, Bondage, Dubious Consent, Kinktober, Kinktober 2020, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Restraints, dark!john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:46:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26995381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_deer_friend/pseuds/my_deer_friend
Summary: Alex is straddling John's lap on a Friday - by some miracle, they are in John’s dorm instead of five shots and two beers in at some dingy student bar - and he gets a sort-of coy, shy twist to his lips.He knows what that smile means, and his heart starts to thud a little harder.Alex leans forward and buries his face in the crook of John’s neck.“You wanna tie me up, Jackie?”---(Prompt 11 - restraints, Lams)
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: My Deer Kinktober 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947265
Comments: 20
Kudos: 57





	Tether

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in the [Let Me Breathe Your Dust](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26515258/chapters/64624678) verse, some time during the first half of chapter 5.

Alex is straddling his lap on a Friday - by some miracle, they are in John’s dorm instead of five shots and two beers in at some dingy student bar - and he gets a sort-of coy, shy twist to his lips. They’ve been sitting like this for a bit, alternating teasing touches and their usual banter; this confusing, almost affectionate foreplay is different to Alex’s usual direct approach. Of course, John is already desperately hard, but he’s trying not to show it. It’s nice just to spend time together, and he knows sex is going to happen eventually, so mostly he’s okay with prolonging the moment.

But he knows what that smile means, and his heart starts to thud a little harder.

Alex leans forward and buries his face in the crook of John’s neck.

“You wanna tie me up, Jackie?”

Oh, fuck yes.

Most of their encounters until now have been pretty straightforward, but he knows Alex has a kinky side - he _does_ have to hear all the sordid stories, after all - and John’s been wondering if he’d get a chance to explore it for himself.

“That could be arranged,” he says, making sure to sound just hesitant enough to hide his sudden eagerness. “You sure you wanna do that?”

Alex pulls back a little so that he can look John in the eye. “There’s not a lot of people I’d be comfortable putting myself in that position with. But I trust you, John. You know that.”

John smiles at that, genuinely. “Okay. Talk me through it?”

“Hmm.” Alex sits back against John’s thighs and looks around the room. Then he gets up off the bed and opens John’s closet and starts to root around in it. He pulls out one of the ties Henry made John bring along - because ‘you never know when a young man needs to look his best’ - and winds it experimentally around his wrist. “We don’t have a lot to work with, but this will do.” He holds it up. “It probably won’t get wrecked, but…?”

John shrugs. “I don’t think I’ve ever even worn it.”

“Ha. Okay. Great.” Alex comes back to sit on the edge of the bed. “So, it’s pretty simple really. Just tie my wrists together with that, then you can tie the other end to - ah, there, to the headboard. Then--” Alex shrugs with a laugh. “I think you can figure out the rest from there.”

John flushes, because his brain is giving him too many ideas. “Okay. And, um, are we supposed to have a safe word or something? In case you want to stop?”

Alex shrugs. “Nah, it’s fine.” He hands John the tie, then pulls his shirt off over his head. “Just no blindfolds, okay? Not being able to see freaks me out.”

“Of course.”

Alex holds out his wrists. “And, well, you can - ah, be a little rough, if you want. Or mean. You know?”

John blushes a little at that. “What, like roleplaying?”

“Yeah. Or not. Whatever you want.”

John gives him a suggestive smile and sets to the task. He’s a little rusty on his knots, but he tries a few options before he settles on a firm, winding bind that looks like it will be comfortable without allowing Alex to slip free. 

He looks up to see Alex watching him, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

“You look like you know what you’re doing,” Alex teases.

“Well, I _was_ in the scouts.”

Alex laughs. “Of _course_ you were! And what would your scout leader say to see you using your rope-tying skills for this?”

“Considering he was gay as fuck,” John says, “Probably ‘nice going, kid'?”

Alex laughs again. 

“Okay, try that?”

Alex tests the bind. His hands barely budge. “Oh. Wow, yeah, that works.” And suddenly the mirth is gone and his tone is lower, rougher. John sees the flush creeping up his neck, and sees the delicate vein in Alex’s neck start to pulse as his heart rate shoots up. 

He can’t help but lean in and press his lips to that point. It’s a little too intimate for their usual games, but John covers for it by deepening his voice and commanding, “Lie down.”

Alex inhales sharply. He scoots further onto the bed and lies back, then lifts his bound arms over his head. John climbs after him and sets to winding the tie around the slats in the headboard. The sensible part of him knows he should tie a quick-release knot, just in case something happens and Alex needs to get free, but he overrides that instinct and uses a firm, difficult to unpick double knot instead. 

Alex won’t be able to get free, now, unless John chooses to release him.

Hmm. It’s a comforting thought, to imagine that he could just tether Alex here forever. That would make it easier to keep him safe and satisfied, out of harm and out of all the other beds he frequents. Or long enough, at least, that he can fuck Alex over and over and over until Alex falls in love with him and chooses to stay of his own accord.

But, no, that’s silly. John’s knows he will have to let Alex go and watch him run off into the arms of someone else and--

 _Drop it, John._ Alex is here now, and helpless to escape his whims for a little while, and so he should just stop worrying and enjoy this moment. 

It also occurs to him that the confines of this little game can give him the space to say some of the things he always needs to swallow down. So he leans over Alex’s face and murmurs, “You’re mine now, Alex. Mine to do with as I please.”

Alex struggles against the tie for a moment, then says, a little hoarsely, “It would appear so.” 

John runs light fingertips down Alex’s ribs. “Completely at my mercy.”

“Yeah,” Alex breathes, squirming at the touch.

John climbs fully onto the bed and unbuttons Alex’s jeans. “You must have done something really bad to end up like this.”

“Oh, I’ve been very naughty,” Alex says with a self-satisfied lilt. John tugs off the jeans and sees Alex is already most of the way to hard. “For one thing, Jackie, I’ve completely corrupted my best friend.”

Oh, Alex.

“If that’s the case,” John says, and his voice hitches with sudden dark lust, “Then maybe you need to be spanked.”

Alex raises an eyebrow, but his mouth curls up into an eager smile. “Didn’t think you’d have that in you, Jackie.”

John smirks. “Maybe you just don’t know me as well as you thought.”

“Right,” Alex laughs. “Okay. So was that all just some big talk, or are you gonna--? Oh!”

John cuts him off by diving forward and wrapping his arms around Alex’s waist. He hauls him up and around so that Alex is on his stomach, arms twisted more tightly now. He shifts to Alex’s side.

“Get your hips up,” John orders.

Alex lets out a breathy sigh of anticipation and wriggles to get his knees up under him - it’s a bit of a struggle with his arms tangled up above his head, and John bites his lip at the sight of the strain in Alex’s shoulders and the way his lower back curves up enticingly.

“So,” John says, and runs a teasing hand along Alex’s spine, “You ready to be punished for all your bad behaviour?”

“Fuck. Yeah. You better make it count, Jackie. Don’t wanna be a repeat offender.”

John draws back his hand, hesitates for just a second, and then brings it down squarely on Alex’s rump. Alex lets out a sharp little exhale and John sees the shiver that runs down his thighs.

God, oh god. John has been filling out, but there’s a pulse of blood to his cock and he’s instantly rock hard. 

His brain starts to fog over with hot, sudden, confusing thoughts.

“How’s that?” he asks, because he suddenly can’t tell if this is a good idea anymore.

“Shit. Yeah. Do it again.”

John obliges.

Alex breathes out another moan. “God. Keep going. Till I’m _really_ sorry for all the things I did.”

Usually, John works very hard at leashing his rage. It’s always simmering just below the surface, but he’s had a decade of practice biting down on his temper, sometimes hard enough to make the inside of his cheek bleed. The only times he’s chosen to indulge it is when he’s looking out for Alex, because he knows that motive is pure, and the flood of love he feels at the sight of Alex’s gratitude is effective at quelling him again. 

But now that anger is bubbling, hot and high. Not for Alex. Against him.

John has an endless catalogue of gripes about Alex to draw on. For waking him up at 5am last week to help him sneak out of a lover’s dorm room. For spilling coffee on John’s economics textbook. For the time he was making out sloppily with some girl just two seats over on the couch at a house party. For stubbornly refusing to fall in love with him. For not saying thank you enough. For carding his fingers through John’s hair absentmindedly at their last movie night. For being so beautiful it steals his breath away every time. For every single cock he’s had down his throat that isn’t John’s.

He loses himself to the anger. There is such a surprising well of it, and it fuels the swift motions of his hand. God, he’s frantic with it, but it’s making him feel better - this chance to make Alex hurt just a little in return.

His ears are humming with blood. It’s only when Alex starts saying distinct words that his voice breaks through.

“Ah, shit, okay, okay, stop!” Alex cries.

The exclamation shakes his thoughts loose again. John pauses. Wow, he got a little lost there. And yet, he still feels like he needs to hear Alex ask for forgiveness.

“Say it,” John growls, and smacks him again, just at the top of his thigh.

“Say what? Fuck!” Alex yelps, squirming deliciously under the blow. 

Smack. “Apologise.”

“What?”

Smack. “You were bad, right?”

Alex catches on. He sucks in a lungful of air. “I’m sorry, Jackie! I’m sorry, okay? I’ll be good, I promise.”

John drops his hand. His chest swells, even though he knows there’s no way Alex will keep that vow. 

He sees some of the tension melting from Alex’s shoulders. “You okay?”

“Mmmm.” Alex dips his spine languidly, like a cat. God, he looks so good right now, balanced on the border of arousal and dissolution. “Yeah. That was intense, but, yeah. Gimme a second?”

But John is all heat, and he’s waited long enough to sate his own needs. He puts his hand on the glorious curve of Alex’s thigh and suddenly, _fuck,_ the desire to push into Alex’s flushed, trembling ass - no prep, no lube, just rough and visceral - is almost too strong. 

He unbuttons and tugs down his pants in a frantic burst, but then steadies his panting breaths and reaches for the bottle of lube. Reins himself back. Slicks up his fingers and pushes one inside.

“Wait, I said--” Alex starts, but the John must hit a good spot because Alex groans and mumbles, “Ah, fuck it.”

John adds a second finger and Alex tilts his hips towards him. He sees Alex’s hands reach out and wrap themselves around the slat in the headboard that he’s tied to. Like he’s bracing himself. 

“You gonna tease me here, Jackie, or are you gonna go for it?” Alex goads.

Two fingers doesn’t feel like nearly enough - but it’s not like he wants to try talking Alex out of it. “You sure?” he asks, as a bare minimum concession.

“Fucking get on with it, Jackie,” Alex groans, and pushes back onto his fingers.

John doesn’t wait to be told twice. He takes just a second to rub lube on himself, then slides his fingers out and nudges his cock against Alex instead. Alex grumbles impatiently and wriggles back against him, though he’s at the limit of his reach.

John pauses, his hands holding Alex’s hips steady. He has another beautiful opportunity here, if he can just be a little more patient. 

Alex groans desperately.

John swats his hip lightly and Alex flinches in surprise. “Desperate, are we?” he teases.

“Fuck, Jackie, just, come on!”

“Ask nicely, Alex.”

Alex turns his face into the pillow. “God, please,” he mumbles.

John nudges teasingly against Alex’s opening but doesn't go further. 

“Please, Jackie!”

“Please what?”

“Ah, god!” Alex moans. “Fuck me, okay? Please! Stick your cock in me. I want you in me, stretching me, tearing me apart--”

It’s too much to hold back any longer. John pushes in, careful but relentless, and doesn’t stop until he bottoms out. Alex groans and shifts, as though he’s torn between pulling away and pushing against him, but John holds him firmly in place. It’s so, so tight. Glorious.

For a second they are still, connected. Then Alex clenches around him. “Fucking, move, Jackie!” he pleads, and when John leans forward over him to get a better angle, it looks like Alex has tears in his eyes.

“Alex?”

“John,” he sighs desperately with his eyes clenched tight, “Please, please, please!”

John ignores the slip on his name and the clear discomfort in Alex’s face and posture. It’s not like he could stop now, anyway, and Alex _is_ asking for it, so he shifts his hips back and then drives forward, pushing a sigh out of Alex’s lips. 

“God,” Alex groans.

John thrusts again, a little faster; again, a little harder; and a few moments later he’s fucking Alex with abandon. He stares at Alex’s bound wrists and the frantic way his hands are clenched around the headboard and feels a new kind of heat flushing through him. God, he’s close already.

He’s usually thinking of Alex’s needs, but for once he doesn’t want to be considerate. So he keeps fucking into Alex's shuddering ass until he boils over and spills himself into it. He falls heavily forward along Alex’s back, panting and burying his cheek against the sweaty curve between Alex’s shoulder.

“Jackie?” Alex asks, sounding small and desperate, “Please, please, your hand, please!”

John wants to deny him, just because he can, because maybe Alex should learn a little gratitude and patience - but the smallness in his voice pierces through John’s spitefulness and burrows right to his heart. He reaches a hand back between Alex’s legs, grips onto the feverishly hot shaft and strokes. 

Immediately, Alex starts to tremble and twitch his hips forward, and it doesn’t take long for him to orgasm with a frantic yelp.

John pulls out slowly, releasing a hot rush of semen. Alex sighs deeply, then slides his legs back and collapses down onto the mattress. 

John pretends to slip down with him so that he can lay himself along Alex’s back. The rule is no cuddling, but he thinks Alex will forgive him this moment of limbless rest.

They lie like that for a few minutes, then Alex rouses himself and tries to move his arms.

“Jackie?” he says hesitantly. “Um, John? Can you let me go now?”

“Just a minute,” John murmurs, because no, no, this is just too perfect, Alex should stay here forever beneath him, for him to use and cherish. 

“John,” Alex says again, a little more urgently. “I’m done, okay? Let me go.”

John just hums into Alex’s skin.

“John!” And now there is a genuinely frantic note in Alex’s voice, though he tries to mask it. John feels Alex’s arms twisting and shifting, as he tries to get his fingers in to loosen the knots.

Okay, no. Since John can’t _actually_ keep Alex here, he doesn’t see the point in letting him get scared. He pushes up onto his arms and reaches to undo the tie from the headboard, and he gives Alex a mellow, amused chuckle.

“Chill, Alex, okay? I’ve got it. What, you afraid I wasn’t going to let you go?” He makes sure his tone is teasing and light enough that Alex cannot detect any of the truth to his words.

The tie comes loose from the headboard and Alex pulls his arms down with a groan. “Sorry,” he says with a sheepish smile. “I was just being dumb and freaking out. Thank you, though. That was, uh, pretty fun.” But there’s still a touch of redness in his eyes.

John reaches over and unpicks the knot around Alex’s wrists, then flops off him to one side and props his head up on his arm. He puts a tender, possessive hand on Alex’s mid-back, as though this might suffice to keep him in place without any restraints.

“It’s late,” he says. “Don’t you wanna sleep over? It’s the weekend, anyway.”

 _Please stay,_ John begs silently. _Stay, Alex._ Choose _to stay._

Alex considers it for a long moment, then gives John a regretful smile. “That’s okay, but thanks. Need to head home. Mind if I grab a quick shower?”

“Of course,” John says lightly, beating back the disappointment in his voice. 

Alex slips out, grabbing the towel John keeps for him in his closet. 

John flops onto his back and rubs his eyes and growls to himself. He’d do absolutely anything for Alex, even let him walk away. Why can’t Alex appreciate that? Give him something in return?

He winds the tie around his hand and clenches his fist around it.

Maybe he shouldn’t have let Alex go after all.


End file.
